Siegmeyer of Catarina vs Pyramid Head
by ColdCupoJoe
Summary: Hello all! This time we have the world's favorite onion bro, Siegmeyer of Catarina from Dark Souls 1, against Pyramid Head of Silent Hills 2 fame. I apologize for not actually playing any Silent Hill games, but I've watched gameplay for research and hopefully I got the characterizations right for all characters involved. Enjoy y'all!


Siegmeyer of Catarina vs Pyramid Head

The barriers between worlds are tricky abstractions. While some worlds are isolated within themselves by a loop of time, some may be blurred by mist, and other realms so intertwined they are indistinguishable from our own. These other worlds hold all possibilities, from unbelievable miracles to phenomena so common they have become ordinary, from worlds of endless pleasure to those of unimaginable horrors. There are those, however, who stand in the face of these horrors without fear, selfless heroes through all realities, with willpower to withstand almost all terrors.

"Hmm…" a curious voice echoed throughout the dark woods. A thin layer of standing water throughout the entirety of the swamp bred parasitic abominations, some only heard as they were obscured by the density of the trees.

"Oh… hmm…" the voice pondered, emanating from a massive stone wall, the top of the ramparts, although immeasurably tall, obscured by the likewise tall trees.

Splitting the wall partway was a tall closed wrought iron gate, large enough to fit a giant through, and at the base of the gate sat a curious man clad in ornate armor. The exaggerated form of the reflective tan armor and bulbous helm gave the sitting knight the appearance of an onion with a rounded potbelly. The knight held a great Zweihander straight sword in one hand, a feat few attempted and even fewer could wield with any effectiveness, while a small parrying shield with a spiked center adorned his back.

Although the man knew the swamp like the back of his hand, he hadn't the slightest clue what lay beyond the gate. He had been sitting on one side of the massive gate for longer than he could remember, but despite his contemplating he could not figure a way through. He was stuck, forever confined to sit on his stone slab until an idea came to him or the gate rose.

"Hmm…" his voice bounced off the trees, echoing through the trees, catching a pair of panicked, desperate ears.

James Sunderland tore through the dense foliage, constantly turning to look in fear for his pursuer. In his attempt to escape the horrors of Silent Hill, the brown-haired man had sprinted through the blinding fog and found himself sprinting through the knee-deep tepid water of an infested swamp.

James' head spun in search of any sign of hope until his ears picked up a friendly noise, an inquisitive hum in the distance.

"Hmm…" The tortured clerk turned his sprint towards the other voice, his jacket catching on twisted and thorny branches, but he didn't let that impede him. The jungle of trees turned to stone as James happened upon a stone wall, stretching more than three hundred feet tall. He ran for the gate of the wall, only to find it barred shut with an armored knight sitting at its base.

"Ah, hello there traveler!" the knight cheerily piped up, not straying from his sitting slab. "I am Siegmeyer of Catarina and I've run flat up against a wall, or a gate I should say, and the thing won't budge no matter how long I wait."

"There's no time," the man ran up to the sitting knight, his voice somehow much calmer than his supposed situation suggested. "My name's James. James Sunderland. You're not friends with that Red Pyramid Thing, are you?"

"Pyramid Thing?" Siegmeyer scratched the base of his helmet where his chin ought to be. "I can't say I've heard of any such creature. But if you are truly terrified of such a beast perhaps this knight of Catarina can assist you!"

"I… don't quite know what you mean." James' voice sounded disjointed as he looked up and down the wall for a way through.

"If this fiend worries you so," the knight jumped from his stump, chest puffed, "then allow me to rid you of this foul creature!"

"If you go back there," Sunderland said, pointing from the way he ran from, "you'll find a town, filled with monsters, just watch out for the big Red Pyramid Thing with the knife."

"A knife?" Siegmeyer chuckled heartily, bouncing in his hefty armor. "A mere knife can not fell a Knight of Catarina. Alas, if the creature is after you I shall undertake this adventure and slay the fiend, allow me this honor good sir!"

"I guess…" the man said, distantly. "just be careful in that town."

"Oh, there's no need to worry about me Sir James of Sunderland," the knight called out, heading his way through the swamp towards the way the man pointed. "Adventuring is my life, I'm prepared for the worst! Hahaha!"

Siegmeyer trudged through the swamp for what seemed like hours, cutting his way through the dense foliage and slowly dragging his armored legs through the muck. His journey, however, was halted by a rolling white wall of fog, about 15 feet tall and spilling in droves onto the surface of the swamp.

"Perhaps this, too, is the will of Lord Gwyn," Siegmeyer extended his hand, quickly losing sight of his fingers in the incredibly dense fog. The knight strained his eyes to look through the small horizontal slit in his helm, but could not pierce the veil of fog with his eyes. Seeing no alternative, he readjusted his grip on his sword, holding it defensively in front of himself as he waded into blindness.

Before traversing far into the blinding fog, the squishing terrain turned to solid ground, hard as stone even. Siegmeyer kept his head turning, hurrying his pace as the fog began seeping into his helmet, obscuring his vision even more.

Finally, the fog broke and the knight found himself in the middle of a settlement, a town really, but one he had never seen before and the everything seemed foreign to him. While he could now see, the fog kept his line of sight to a mere 10 feet in all directions, but enough to make out his surroundings. The road he found himself standing on was pure black, without any creases of stonemasonry, and it was littered with what he guessed were metal boxes, decorated on the interior with plush seats. Along the side of the road were tall metal trees with but a single branch, one or two of these single-branched trees emitting a dull yellow light onto the street below. In the distance Siegmeyer heard a blaring siren, the only sign of life in this desolate town.

Siegmeyer loosened his grip on his Zweihander but kept it in front of himself as he moved through the town, letting his guard down ever so slightly as he could rely slightly more on his vision. He passed many tall brick buildings following the siren's call, not being able to shake the feeling of prying eyes from the rooftops.

The sound of hurried footsteps halted the knight's exploration. He planted his feet, pulling the spiked shield from his back and prepared himself for the terror James had told him about. From the mist, however, came sprinting a woman, clad in a red, partially buttoned sleeved crop-top shirt and a pink leopard-print skirt, her shoulder-length blond hair flying close behind.

Siegmeyer lowered his weapons as the woman embraced him, stumbling backward in his clunky armor.

"Why, hello young mistress," the jolly knight sounded surprised, keeping vigilance for the villain following her.

"I was almost killed back there!" the lady sobbed, tears falling onto Siegmeyer's bulbous armor plating. "I've never been so scared in my whole life!"

"There, there," the jolly knight consoled the woman with a pat on the back, his armor preventing him from fully embracing the weeping woman.

Her sobs were cut short by the sound of heavy metal scraping stone.

"Oh no, he's here!" her voice panicked.

"I've a brilliant idea," Siegmeyer assured her, moving her behind him and readying his weapons. "I shall rush this dire fiend, and you can slip away in the confusion! Please, m'lady, it is the least a knight of Catarina such as myself can offer."

The woman nodded hesitantly, running behind the knight before disappearing into the fog.

Siegmeyer stood alone in the middle of the road, the sound of dragging metal coming closer and closer, echoing in his helmet. He readjusted the grip on his Zweihander, using his ears to tune in to the direction of his enemy.

The massive head of the creature pierced through the curtain of fog first, the figure of an oversized rusted red pyramid with sharp, dangerous corners. As the creature lumbered into view, Siegmeyer saw that the creature appeared humanoid, spare the oversized triangular helmet in place of its head of course, and wore only a white butcher's smock, stained with massive patches of blood. The creature towered over the knight by about a foot, although Siegmeyer saw that this could easily be due to the massive pyramid atop its head. The creature also dragged a large rusted sword behind him, the handle along the bladed edge of the weapon, making it appear to be a very unwieldy blade.

"Ah, 'tis you whom James and the woman are petrified of, is it?" Siegmeyer called out, eyes trained on the hulking man. Pyramid Head lumbered forward unsurprised at this new challenger, slowly closing the distance between the two combatants.

"Have you gone hollow, my friend?" Siegmeyer continued to question, readying himself if he could not reason with this creature. "Or do you take pleasure in the assault of innocents?"

The creature did not answer, its muscles hardening as it whipped its giant knife overhead to slam onto the knight in its path. Siegmeyer leapt sideways, rolling heavily to avoid the massive hunk of metal, and rose to his feet facing the creature's side.

"Come on then! Over here you fiend!" Siegmeyer shouted, readying his Zweihander. "Perish foul creature!"

Siegmeyer thrust with his sword, catching the creature in the ribs. The beast howled, but used Siegmeyer's footing to swing his own sword into the unbalanced knight. Pyramid Head's sword slammed into Siegmeyer's side, although the blade hit along its flattened edge, only knocking the knight backwards a few feet. While the armor held, the massive blade left a noticeable dent in the abdomen in the Catarinian knight's usually flawlessly curved armor.

"Hyaaaah!" Siegmeyer let loose his battle cry, charging in for a frontal attack.

The knight thrust his shield into the creature, although it had lowered its massive helmet. The shield clanged off of the pyramid-shaped helmet, causing Siegmeyer to recoil. Pyramid Head swung his mighty sword once more, this time blade first, at the abdominal dent he had struck before. The blade tore through the armor like paper, digging into Siegmeyer just below the ribs.

The knight shouted in pain before being able to ram his shield into the monster's chest in retribution. Pyramid Head pulled away, taking his knife with him, but the shield remained impaled into its chest. The creature reached up with its large, pale-white offhand, pulling the shield from his chest and tossing it into the fog. Pyramid Head's chest wound seeped a thick black liquid, dripping down his stained smock.

Siegmeyer hadn't had the chance to realize it yet but the fog had been closing in around the two of them, giving them less and less room to fight, but now his only concern with the fog was that his shield was now lost to it. Nonetheless, the knight brandished his sword in two hands, eager to continue the fight.

"Come, fiend!" Siegmeyer shouted once more, charging with his sword prepped to strike. Pyramid Head swung wildly as the knight approached, but missed overhead as Siegmeyer ducked under the blade. He struck upwards, bending the creature's right elbow backwards, causing it to drop the cumbersome weapon.

Siegmeyer grinned at his opportunity with his disarmed adversary, bringing his sword around for another swing. He slashed against the creature's abdomen, slashing the butcher's cloak and tearing another dark bloody wound across its body. Pyramid Head was unhindered, however, as it used its still good arm to grab Siegmeyer by the throat and lift him into the air.

Siegmeyer struggled against the brute, although unable to put any weight behind his sword as he flailed ineffectually. Pyramid Head flung Siegmeyer deep into the fog, crashing out of eyeline of the creature and onto hard concrete, bouncing in his armor. The knight rose to his feet, gripping his sword in both hands.

"Come fight me you jackanape!" Siegmeyer shouted into the white abyss, turning in every direction to find this demon. From the fog came thrusting a long, metallic spear, bouncing off of the knight's shoulder pauldron. Siegmeyer staggered and tried to return the blow but the spear retracted back into the fog, his own sword swing striking only mist.

Siegmeyer kept slowly spinning, seeing only the swirling fog. The spear came once more, from behind, striking the knight in the hole of his armor. He screamed in pain and slashed once more into the fog, this time clipping the spear that stuck him, causing it to clang to the ground.

"I am Siegmeyer of Catarina, and you shall feel my wrath!" Without wasting a moment, Siegmeyer charged into the fog in the direction of the spear, his body colliding with Pyramid Head and tackling him to the ground. Siegmeyer was able to land a hefty left hook to the creature's metallic head before being flung off, a reverberating _clang_ ringing out through the street.

Both combatants rose, Siegmeyer looking up and down his adversary. He was beaten and bloody, or at least whatever you would call this creature's black blood, but he once again held the large blade in his injured arm. Siegmeyer readied his Zweihander for one last bout.

"Hyaah!" the knight charged in as Pyramid Head raised his enormous sword for an overhead swing. Pyramid Head's knife dug into Siegmeyer's shoulder, cleaving deep into his flesh, but was answered by the Zweihander piercing deep into the creature's pectoral, thrusting out its back. Siegmeyer gritted his teeth as he twisted the sword deep into the monster, looking for any sign of pain or edge for victory.

The helmeted monster showed no emotion, however, as he pulled the blade from the knight's shoulder and spun to rip Siegmeyer's sword from his own chest. He spun the great knife at head height, too fast for the knight to be able to dodge.

Siegmeyer was only able to catch sight of the blade as it tore through the mist. The knight's final thoughts flashed to his daughter, still wandering Lothric for him, and his wife, who he left sickly at home. He would meet them again one day. He only hoped they would not meet him for much, much longer.

Pyramid Head's knife cleaved through the base of the knight's bulbous helmet, severing his head entirely as the helm rolled into the mist. The clunky armored body of the once great knight crumbled to the ground, echoing throughout the abandoned city.

The massive creature turned away from the corpse, sirens still blaring, dragging its great knife once more through the streets of Silent Hill.

Winner: Pyramid Head


End file.
